and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I believe in your delicious
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
