i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
