she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize