it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
