Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
