So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
