i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
