she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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