K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
