there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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