I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
