They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
