I've blown a few things in my day
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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