it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
