yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
