May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
