A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
