I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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