Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
