i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
