I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
