hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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