Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
