I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
