i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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