And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
