I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
