Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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