strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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