I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
