Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize