All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
