States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
