R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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