i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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