I seem to have left my pride at pride
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
