i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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