On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
