is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
