So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize