VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
