Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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