I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize