wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
