dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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