I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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