so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
