Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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