Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
