thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
