Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
