they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
