when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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