She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize