just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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