after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
