never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You are a genius and a whore.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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