A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
