i need an iv and a liver transplant
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
