How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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